Exam Stress & Anxiety: Offering Guidance, Not Control – Rochelle Jane

Lauren Cumming - 16/07/2024

Are the rosé, study snacks and the rainbow selection of highlighters enough to get you and your children through exam time? Exam stress is similar to discovering the milk carton in the fridge is empty, it will go unnoticed until someone points it out and then, boom, you‘re walking on atomic egg shells for weeks on end.

Unlike mornings with black coffee, there are ways to get support during exam season.

Are you and your children mentally prepped for exam time?

Let’s first look at some common misconceptions about exam stress that are important to address:

Exam stress is about the fear of underperforming. Exam stress is often a mixture of flourishing identities, social pressures, and decisions about the future. This results in the stress being much more complex than just worrying about the actual exam results and making time to study.
Intervention will help by means of strict parental control and micromanagement. This can actually increase stress by making your child feel more pressure through a lack of autonomy. Parents need to work on offering support and guidance, not control.
Only academic performance will be affected. Poorly managed exam stress can have a physical affect too. Symptoms like headaches, stomach-aches, and trouble sleeping are associated with stress.
Stress is a normal, unavoidable part of exams. Some stress is normal, however excessive or prolonged exam stress is not healthy or optimal and should be addressed through counselling and other interventions. Behavioural changes lasting longer than two weeks should be considered more seriously and additional support sought-after to map out a way forward.

Recognising and addressing these misconceptions is an important first step in helping to effectively manage exam stress.

Parents, have you considered going for counselling yourself?

Seeing a counsellor can provide you with the best possible support and tools for your children, on top of what you already know is best for them. Counsellors can offer guidance on how to create a calm, supportive home environment, communicate effectively with your children about expectations, and recognise signs of unhealthy stress levels. Counselling sessions also allow for an outlet to discuss personal anxieties as a parent about your child’s performance, allowing for a space to manage your own emotions and avoid transferring any stress to your family.

Students, this one is for you:

Counselling can provide really great benefits during exam periods. Counselling offers a safe space to express feelings and concerns, which will alleviate the emotional strain of exams, allowing for more mental freedom to get your studying done. Counselling can also help in developing coping strategies to manage exam anxiety and stress on an on-going basis. During sessions you can also learn techniques like mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and skills to stay focused and productive during the day. Another way to manage exam stress is to seek professional assistance in preparing an effective study schedule, so you can achieve the right amount of studying, get support and still get enough rest and down time.

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Here are some key signs to look out for to know if your child may be suppressing exam stress and in need of support:

Moody: Sudden shifts in mood, becoming more emotional, teary or easily upset.
Negative: Talking negatively about themselves, saying they are stupid or a failure.
Distracted: They have an inability to focus on their schoolwork.
Temper: Being irritable or short-tempered.
Physical Reactions: Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach-aches, fatigue, shaky, sweaty, breathless or dizzy.
Pattern Change: Changes in sleeping patterns or appetite.
Anti-Social: Withdrawal from social activities.
Performance: Sudden decline in academic or sporting performance.

Some children repress or hide their anxiety, making the signs more subtle. Behaviour changes, especially becoming more emotional or irritable, can indicate underlying stress. Having open, non-judgmental conversations to understand what your child is feeling and experiencing can help uncover hidden stress. There are many brilliant guidance mechanisms available, as a parent you will always know what is best for you and your family. Making use of a counsellor or any therapist can be one of many of the ways to offer support to your family during times of stress.

Meet the Blog Post writer, Rochelle Jane.

Certified in Advanced Life Coaching with a background in Psychology and Yoga, Rochelle is passionate about facilitating conscious change in both males and females. As a counselor, Rochelle has a special interest in anxiety, using a combination of coaching techniques, counselling methods, and movement exercises to find the best results for her clients. As someone who has a personal journey with anxiety, Rochelle truly understands what it can feel like to have anxiety feature throughout certain aspects of life. She looks for patterns of behaviour that can cause anxiety or distress, identifies what function this pattern serves for her clients, and actively works with her clients to seek out new patterns that will address their needs, for them to be who they choose to be and live more fulfilling lives.